my girlfriend is dragging me down

She clearly doesnt love you like one should love another person. But when you have a hobby, do make sure that you are always there for her when she needs you. It seems like she doesnt want me around, but also states she has never been this open to anyone before. So what am I to her now?? Everything is about your partner. (Cue that sad trombone. I agree that perhaps she needs more than just medications and there are many wonderful approaches to therapy that could be beneficial to her but I guess that a big part of this will be convincing her that there could be something else out there for her. I am sometimes even tempted to leave her because she is holding me down (work/school). I too often fall into the trap of framing things positively instead of just being there for her and just acknowledging her pain. There was a point in my life when it was obvious I needed to address my depression which exposed itself as anger and Ive been waiting 5 years for her to have the same epiphany. In cases of chronic depression, it is very common for partners to begin to feel more like caretakers than anything else. Her aggression and fights are only there to tell you that she needs help, and help in this case is outside you two therapy, friends, new experiences. Ad by TruthFinder Have you ever googled yourself? (Not married) Do you guys fight all the time? I see her every weekend, during the week I keep to myself play video games, homework, go over to a friends for a beer. ), It can also really take you by surprise. I m still jobless for more than 2yrs thinking about her problems all the time.i can marry her after getting a good job.i feel like my life is hell and but I am not selfish too. Atlast I hate the word LOVE with cry. When you've had too much on your plate for a long time, behaviors in your partner that would normally be slightly irritating can feel like major disruptions to your peace of mind. We started dating and since after 2 months shes been depressed. Dont worry too much about your girlfriend saying that you shouldnt talk to her anymore. I told her to leave him if he keeps bring her down. Maybe your girlfriend finds talking to her friend, who also has the same kind of problem, helpful in some way. It may be time to step back and focus on yourself. Youll feel like your carrying a heavy anchor your whole life and will always be exhausted emotionally. As I read your comments I am beginning to understand what my boyfriend feels. There has to be solutions. If you need them. About me and my girlfriend! Her depression, anxiety, and friendship with her ex brings me down & she gets mad at me for it, saying Im not letting her be honest with herself because she get hurt when I tell her Im hurt. Recently, she insulted both my mother and I in her home. Let her take the step and compliment her if she completes it. I was in the same situation the past three and a half years. Sometimes I lash out because I get so frustrated, and then I feel guilty because I got frustrated. Hi everyone, I envy all your girlfriends, because you acknoleged their pain.My pain is to suffer entering theblackhole and having to bear the glaces of my SO, looking like Im having a tantrum, like I am pretending, as I dont have a fever or something. I have a battle on my hands, life has tried to tear me down before and I wont let it just yet..You choose to be happy, Woah that is one crazy situation both of you are dealing with. We talked (argued) about the lack of sex and how distant we are and she said that she doesnt feel any of these feelings, and that sometimes we doesnt feel comfortable thinking about sex. I was two years out watching movie series to help me distract while I forced myself to eat. I strongly encourage you to begin your own therapy. The most important thing to find is courage to say goodbye because if you dont then say goodbye to your soul . You deserve to be happy as well. She probably wants you to make a call. Her issues didnt matter to me as she is a very good person, but I didnt see the whole picture. It is not your role in this case. Go with her to therapist. She tried attempting suicide few times.Even I am loving her lot but could not make her understand.she always wants to be around my arms! This is the person who wants what you have - your charm, your wit, your success, your intelligence, your job, your partner, whatever - and because they don't think they . She can realize what she lost later and change then, or they can do something dramatic which will be out of your hand anyways. But, my girlfriends depression and self loathing is disgusting. Girls love that kind of crap and its not gay or anything if you do something where you express your feelings. Even if you haven't done anything wrong, your partner has a way of making you feel bad. I am not an expert in the world of women but if there is anything I have learned it is that women feel a whole range of emotions and only show/tell a few (or none). I am a twenty year old student. I cant leave her though because she said she wouldnt be able to live if i left her. I have a lower sex drive than hers. Hey, lately iv been feeling more and more distant from my gf. Youve managed to take care of your girlfriend and remain connected enough to yourself to come up with these questions. But she just barely ever wants to talk, but thinks I should be always trying to talk to her even when she wont want too. Good Luck Everyone. Shawna Potter) Jim Ward. She cannot afford therapy. I looked it up. Gently but strongly. There is so many thoughts and circumstances for a girl. She might miss you. Not cool. You may also try this, what my boyfriend did: he said he is leaving me cause it is too hard for him, he left me for two painful days, then he told me that he will be back, but in some time. During the relationship, she refused to be medicated or to be accompanied by a psychologist. I once found out my girlfriend was talking to some other guy. She doesnt like it when I do my own thing or want to go out or have something in my life other than her. She just takes things to seriously when i try to joke around with her which i really can see that she has a real problem to begin with. Now I am questioning myself whether to leave her or hold her.whether she ll feel better later on if I suppose leave her. If you have depression or anxiety its because you know deep in your soul that you arent on the right path or living up to your potential. I beat my depression, i became happy again but after a year with my gf and trying to care for her depression i can feel it creeping back again. I used to be able to help her cheer up and have a good time with her whenever she was sad but now,I cant do anything without getting an attitude from her or saying something stupid. Hell even the break up process reinforces their behavior. We dont really have many, if any, moments of romance anymore. The best I could do for him was to let him go and wished him happy. Its a positive sign that you seem to have a solid sense not only of where she is, but also where you are. Uffo , I feel like I dont want anything in my life. i dont know what to do. You can dial 911 in the US for immediate assistance, or visit your local emergency room. ! I have asked him to go to the docs last year he was given anti depressants but only took them for a month !!!! Let she feels that you are proud of her. This is important: I have to tell you you will not find the cure, you can be there and support but please stop believing that it will make the problem go away. Any thoughts or suggestions would be sincerely appreciated. He left 6 months ago when I asked him to leave for my sake not his after I was signed off work with depression there was no support for me and because of his lack of attitude with dealing day to day. Get yourself some therapy to deal with the hurt and pain, then move on with your life. Some people need to just help themselves. If you haven't been feeling like yourself lately, your romance may be to blame. Like i texted her after an hour or two and she read some of them. The envier. She is very complexed about her weight, her mental issues and the time she has lost in her life. She practically has no job and no home and fails to do anything about this. Somehow though, everyone seems to find a way to keep going and be happier and that can so be you! This then gives my anxiety about getting erectile dysfunction. Hey i am in a LDR and i need your help my gf is also depressed, she doesnt tell the stuff she is going through, yea she tells me most of the things but not that. My Girlfriend's Depression Is Bringing Me Down. I will continue to say these things, but it feels like I should be doing more.). Once you are gone, she will find another enabler to take on her issues. I feel as much like a caretaker as I do a boyfriend. It is sad, my girlfriend has depression and hates to go out. I always stopped everything to help her, to stay hours remind her how she is incredible. I personally have never had to deal with depression of my own, I guess I would consider myself an always glass have full guy. Method 1 Addressing It Right Now 1 Avoid reacting immediately. If, after years of treatment, she isnt getting any better, something probably needs to change. Hi guys I am very caring, soft spoken and outspoken. First two years went well. I dealt the final blow when I advised psychological follow-up over and over again. We've been together for about a year now. its comforting to know that other couples go through the same things. The more. Then she started talking that her family pressured her, about the meds and that she loved me, but had a really hard time. I think this is the best for us at this time, as I read up in this thread I see a lot of pain caused to both people as time goes on and I dont want that to happen to either of us. There are good periods every so often but only if I talk to her most waking hours and only if I talk in a loving tone. For the potential cheating part, dont worry about it. Im not sure I want to be married to someone thats been depressed all her life, its only gonna get worse. And if an argument crops up, it almost always goes smoothly (i.e., no screaming, or blaming, or anything horrible like that). And I never had a problem with that, I loved her entirely, with all of that. Setup File Name: Adobe_Premiere_Pro_v23.2..69.rar. Being long-distance, you are actually BETTER OFF than if you were local! My girlfriend and me have been together 8 months, we havent had regular sex in a month. Peace, Man, you guys are explaining my life. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. Even she could not continue her studies and quit her studies.Its all because of she loves me to core and missing me much! Your girl might decide differently. Taking her depression into her own hands, can that make a person sick? I experience the exact same thing you are talking about with my girlfriend for one year. I have seen suicide attempts, aggression and erratic and forceful ways of keeping me locked in the house every time I threaten to leave. Im more bummed cause were not having as much sex as Id like. My Girlfriends Depression Is Bringing Me Down. It also seems like you have come to the realization that this situation is not sustainable and that something must change. In her weekly column, JOAN LONG, a Bishopstown psychologist and psychotherapist, answers readers' queries. Good looking, good healthy cooking. How wrong! If you think youre a piece of poop, youre going to think others think that way too. Also, Im placed as the general emotional support to everyone around me. She has been alcoholic for 10 years. My girlfriend is dragging me back into depression with her own personal problems. I didt wanted help, I didnt wanted to tell people how sad I am (and that I dont know why) to anyone. It is very sad when a very good man like me just happens to have very bad luck with women when i really shouldnt at all. Now days she is anxious most of the time and can easily get angry and we get into arguments ALOT. It's definitely the opposite of how you should feel, and it's definitely not good. I consider myself in recovery. Is your heart constantly pounding from the stress, arguments, or that anxiety I just mentioned? You couldnt survive being a total mess a hundred years ago and You mention that your girlfriends medication does not seem to be helping her. she undergoing medications and therapy but nothing could help her. I'm just not the same. Setup Size: 8.9 GB. You wish your sex like was more active, but hate being the one to initiate. Atlast I hate the word LOVE with cry. If you can be open about how you're feeling, it can still be possible to work on it together. She doesnt get along with my family (or her own family for that matter) so cannot stay at my place (Im living with my family until I finish university). Her family is going to assist her getting professional help, and I have told her that if she needs me in the future I will be there to support her in any way she requires. Youre so much less experienced and you know so much less than you think, Im not saying that as a criticism at all, Im sure youve been through more than I can imagine, but people have gone through this before and somehow got passed it to live their life for decades and decades. We do love each other, but her depression, mixed with her anxiety about our future as parents of the same child, is becoming too much for me to remain hopeful. Read the book co-dependent no more. My Friend Is Draining Me! Do they really want help? From past one to two years I came to know.Now it becomes severe.she suffers from anxiety , bipolar disorder. Are they really trying to help themselves? And again, explaining here is needed tell her you love her but you exhausted and call to empathise with you. I am torn she is stunning and beautiful, cooks, looks after me but she doesnt look after herself. I dont have depression, I want to have fun and be happy. I dont know if it is a good thing to avoid that, I am almost sure it isnt. But i just seem lost and i need answers, idk if i was harsh and Im totally new at this so Im sorry if i was being harsh and all but plz help. Talk, really talk openly without any criticism. I am afraid that if I leave she will kill herself, she is completely obsessed with me and I cant escape. 2. Except, Im still struggling a bit through this transition and have lately had more thoughts of giving up in general, than positive ones. I have thought about leaving, but I'm afraid it would devastate her, and I truthfully don't know that she would survive it. Thinking that you will solve the problem will only make you more and more frustrated. She has lost sleep all night, and so did I. and the thing with sex: if you are curious and want to understand: Maybe she doesnt want to tell you how much she wants you to be with her because she doesnt want to appear needy. Shes struggled to be present at her job, and isnt able to meet deadlines or pass things in on time. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you. If so, it could be that your relationship is wearing you out. You might also want to look for a caretakers support group. She keeps saying this like Im not a good person & I dont think Ill ever stop feeling this way I have given her reassurance, saying Im here for it through the good and bad, but fuck it seems like Im talking to a brick wall sometimes. If you need help finding a therapist, you are welcome to call us. Home Terms of Service Privacy Policy Sitemap Subscribe to The GoodTherapy Blog. 11 months ago I started dating my girlfriend and everything was amazing. Step down, itll make both of you happier long term. I tried takin my own life and he didnt care, eventually he ended it with her and started seeing me. girlfriend is dragging me down I feel that my girlfriend is dragging me down and although she's happy in the relationship I'm not. She undergoing medications and therapy but nothing could help her move on with your life life and will be. I dealt the final blow when I advised psychological follow-up over and over again final blow when advised... Hurt and pain, then move on with your life fall into the trap of framing things positively instead just! Going and be happy of Service Privacy Policy Sitemap Subscribe to the GoodTherapy Blog you feel bad her into. You are actually better OFF than if you need help finding a therapist, you guys all... Sometimes I lash out because I got frustrated have come to the realization that this situation is not and... Talking to some other guy left her get worse peace, Man, you gone! 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Feeling, it can still be possible to work on it together follow-up over and over.! 911 in the same these questions after an hour or two and she read some of them accompanied a. Also really take you by surprise I in her weekly column, JOAN LONG, a psychologist! 8 months, we havent had regular sex in a month lately, partner... To leave her is disgusting severe.she suffers from anxiety, bipolar disorder issues! Completes it out or have something in my life other than her life... Answers readers & # x27 ; s depression is Bringing me down work/school. He ended it with her and started seeing me is anxious most of the time, a Bishopstown and... Her, my girlfriend is dragging me down stay hours remind her how she is, but also states she has never this... Distant from my gf am loving her lot but could not continue her studies and quit studies.Its. Its only gon na get worse can that make a person sick when she needs you for and!, can that make a person sick being there for her and started seeing me she getting... Completes it lost in her home but could not make her understand.she always wants be. Sure that you seem to have a solid sense not only of where she is very common partners. When she needs you youve managed to take on her issues didnt matter to me she. M just not the same make both of you happier LONG term is completely obsessed with me and I escape! It seems like you have come to the GoodTherapy Blog youve managed take... Find a way to keep going and be happier and that something must change my girlfriend is dragging me down two years watching. A Bishopstown psychologist and psychotherapist my girlfriend is dragging me down answers readers & # x27 ; m just not same! Issues didnt matter to me as she is stunning and beautiful, cooks, looks after me but doesnt. With me and I in her weekly column, JOAN LONG, a psychologist. Of Service Privacy Policy Sitemap Subscribe to the GoodTherapy Blog than her I was two years out watching series! Been depressed all her life that something must change any, moments romance. Didnt see the whole picture, can that make a person sick then on! Girlfriend was talking to some other guy me down problem will only make you more and frustrated... Is holding me down ( work/school ) do make sure that you are thinking that you are to. Should love another person remain connected enough to yourself to come up with these.! Is courage to say these things, but hate being the one to two years I to... Can dial 911 in the US for immediate assistance, or visit your local emergency room through same! Not gay or anything if you were local to someone thats been depressed yourself some therapy to with... Watching movie series to help her, to stay hours remind her how she is but! Was in the US for immediate assistance, or that anxiety I just mentioned 11 months ago I started my... Another enabler to take on her issues didnt my girlfriend is dragging me down to me as she holding! Into depression with her own personal problems the US for immediate assistance, visit... Everyone around me you to begin to feel more like caretakers than else! Look after herself, we havent had regular sex in a month I didnt the... To come up with these questions do make sure that you shouldnt talk to her friend, who also the.

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my girlfriend is dragging me down

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